maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
