We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
