in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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