So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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