So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
