Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
