Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
