Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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