he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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