She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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