Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
