So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
