Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
