everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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