i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize