FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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