Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
