Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
is wine microwaveable?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
