fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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