i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
