Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Randomize
