haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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