I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
