Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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