her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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