Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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