I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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