if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The air was thick with penises
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
