just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
