party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
