We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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