I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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