dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the day after is always just damage control
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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