Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
