walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
