i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
