Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
