Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we're making bets on your personal life
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
