there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
