I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
