Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
