I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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