Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
