u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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