She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is my gift to your gina
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
