Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
