I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I still have a little drunk in my system
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
