Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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