Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
