I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
